To whom it may concern,
I’m experiencing what I’d like to call and introduce, “Princess Culture Shock”. Desperately in need of something to distract myself.
Signed in pink with hearts on each side, Shelby Hamilton.
I think the most exciting part of my life right now is the book I’m currently reading and the pink flamingo fairy lights that are hanging around my mirror. I’m reading the book ‘The Circle’ by Dave Eggers…It’s a little futuristic. They have chichi offices and a completely new way of thinking. Everything is perfect. Totally cult-like! The book implies that everything in their world is basically never before seen, like a dream world.
In my dream world, all I do is write about ridiculous life happenings, travel, design clothes and act in films, preferably ones in which I have magic powers. The fact that constant fun and the perfect life is not exactly realistic in this moment induces my Princess Culture Shock.
What in the world is Princess Culture Shock, Shelby?
To me, the title ‘Princess’ means a collection of things. Princess being a type of personality..Bubble brain and having your head in the clouds known as a core personality traits. But there is more!
Being a Princess means that I’d probably rather choke than have chipped nail polish or chapped lips. What’s more concerning though, is to me… It also means that I’m wholeheartedly convinced I’m from a princess castle, in a princess kingdom, straight from a princess story book. The problem I have been experiencing more recently is that, this princess struggles to adapt to the ‘real world’. She also honestly wasn’t planning to for a very long time. She was thinking that finding a plain Jane job, saving money and making important life decisions was still in a land very, very far away.
Although we have stepped out of a fairy tale, Princesses are not above anyone. They simply just admire the idea of everything going their way. Smoothly, sparkly and enjoyable. With a nice glass of wine or two throughout.
If you follow my not very often updated blog, you would know that I am a firm believer in not ever knowing what the hell I am doing and succumbing to the idea that I’m an absolute loser that has nothing going for her.
I do know that I’m very young and I know that I have wondrous amounts of time to work it all out. (But I just can’t be like this anymore, Alejandro.) However, this seldom aids my hamster wheel thought process. A never-ending cycle of firstly, the thought of the Kill Bill sirens blaring but “Oh jeez, I’m doing nothing with my life”. As much as I believe and love that everything happens for a reason, sometimes it’s hard to undoubtedly believe in this mantra when everything seems stagnant. Especially when you are a being accused of having beautiful, ADHD. Right now, being away from home, living like a barbie doll is not something I am faithfully able to achieve in this moment. Due to falling out of a princess fairy tale, realising this can be extremely shocking!
I know that I definitely scroll down my Instagram feed and think to myself, wow my life is a proper JOKE. It is disgustingly hard not to compare yourself to everyone around you, especially people floating around the web. People who are travelling and cart wheeling into what seems to be your dream jobs and destinations, while you're at home in the middle of nowhere. Princesses can feel like losers too.
The right path or ‘moment’ seems light years away, and that is where I am wrong and it all melts to crap. You cannot just sit and wait. You need to work (even if it’s not whiz-bang job) to be able to afford a spaceship to leave this planet. Not spin around in la la land participating in made up jobs and worlds.
By writing this I know I’m setting myself up for slander. It seems as though everything prior to this suggesting of sudden ‘culture shock’ had been glitz, glam and simply handed to me on a silver platter. This is not true, all I can say is that you’re all familiar with the quote “Choose a job that you love and you will never work a day in your life”.
But nothing really matters except being happy and there is much more to life than the life I have been stressing about. After typing out my worries, I realise now that I should not resist, I should take advantage. I’m in a pink fluffy warm bed, it’s midnight, my mum is down the hall, I’m itching to get back to reading a great book, I’m listening to Frank Ocean. I’m ending my day on a good note. I am where I am meant to be in this moment.
Lots of love, Shelby